world of my own

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood,
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

*loves *

the colour orange
the sky and the water (:

Saturday, June 02, 2007

i thought the month of may would never end. so many things happened, the days were so filled and so packed... stretched and pulled. but it was a fulfilling month, and there will likely be few of it in the following months to come.

didn't do anything much other than normal training this week. quite a bit of ice and rubbing... on some days it gets better, really good in fact, on others it just rebels and leaves me stranded. good thing is that it doesn't really affect my row other than the first few strokes...

ahh.. the rows... no matter what happens, i know that a part of me still loves rowing.. will forever love rowing. that glide, that clean cut of the water, that sky... no matter what happens at the start and at the finishing line, i know there are some things i love abt rowing...

one night before water i watched videos again. there was one mens k1 video.. i think it was 500 or 1000... it was very very close. at the very very very last moment just before the tip of the boat crossed the finishing line, the 1st n 2nd rowers stuck their paddle in the water. and i just wondered, if the 2nd guy hadn't done that, cld he have eventually held the gold medal?

for every champion of the race, there are 7 more whose dream of winning that gold drowned in the race course. it made me think abt their long journey as canoeists. people only rmb champions, but for the 7 others behind, they must have gone through countless of ups and downs in their long career as a canoeists. and evertime they fell, they picked themselves up again, putting themselves on the line, putting themselves through the test... some eventually succeeded but for the many who didn't... they continued to try... and it made me think about my own short life as a canoeist...

i think the mind is really a powerful thing. it can build as much as it can destroy.

the days of the week blurred and overlapped with each other. each day felt similar to the previous and yet different. doesn't really help to rmb days of the wk with trng since we train so many days. realized that theres no point setting alarm at so many diff timings, only to wake up disconcerted and anxious.

have allowed my temper to get the better of me the past week or so... snapping at people for no reason, being easily irritable and just generally being poor company.

perhaps i really must learn how to let go. perhaps i do always hold on too tight. sometimes it doesn't help to think so much. just let go of everything and row.

i haven't gotten that feeling in a long time. the feeling of 'i refuse'. i refuse... right now, its just one day by one day. with the big picture hovering over my head, sometimes mocking me, sometimes spurring me on... but... its always there...

one day, i just wanna take a trip down macritchie, sit down on the grassy area near the pontoon and just watch the boats. not to check on the schls or anything. but just to watch people row, see the boats glide thru water in the light of the setting sun...

my left thumb has gotten cut. it coincided with the trngs... funny... i haven't had them for a very long time. used to... then leukoplast... then decided to stop my addiction to leukoplast (or any tape)... it healed. but now its back again...

cut. healing... not entirely healed and then got cut again. perhaps one day after it has gotten cut and healed to many times it'll finally harden and not get hurt anymore... is this what happens to people's heart too? that after too many hurts it hardens... thats a sad thought...

i read a little prince again. i would like to have met this little prince.

sunday was legs and paddles... the CBD area is quiet on weekends... no wonder the govt has plans to bring back ppl into the CBD... and it does make sense... all the infrastructure is there... why waste it. i think it would be nice if we could kayak in the marina reservoir.. altho i think it'll be pretty windy... the view shld be great...

the esplanade area... that place always reminds me of fireworks... such a long time ago when we stood with the rest of the crowd and oohed and aahed at fireworks. it was a magical night... and then one year later i was back... cldn't resist excitement and colours... but it was different... different frm the days we dashed out of the stadium in our black booted shoes and cheered with delight...

today during many of my rows, i just chanted the quote in my head.

"our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure..."

powerful beyond measure...

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joo spoke
@ |8:11 PM|