world of my own

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood,
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

*loves *

the colour orange
the sky and the water (:

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

ccal camp ended yesterday. we reached singapore at almost seven and left school around eight.

i remember on the first day i couldn't wait for everything to end. dint exactly hate camp but it was irritating being dragged out of comfort zone to do things that you've already done before, to be all hot, sweaty, dirty, wet. first day i really missed canoobs alot. i missed the comfortable feeling around them. i would be lying if i said b4 clicked... n anw, 3 guys were at ri founders' day so yeah.

first up, kayaking! the boat is some big elephant. it was really hard to coordinate coz of the frequency. vaish and i saw jellyfishes and lots of flying fish! and we saw a starfish too. i guess kayaking really help to bring the whole of bravo closer to each other.

went back to camp able for lunch. was super hungry. we were joined by the rest of our members. so now b4 stands at 10:
karwei, xinhui, jenny, vaish, me, gerard, jonathan, yejie, tea, eesin.

camp night out. eventful. we were in some damn rocky place. gerard nearly burnt my face while trying to turn on the stove. the guys pitched tent while the girls cooked. we ate together on the groundsheet. (: the stars were beautiful, so many that for once i couldn't find the orion's belt. we saw a shooting star fall from the sky...

reflections was good for everyone i think cause we all took a trip down memory lane and thoughts of guides just came flooding back and once again, i was assaulted by how much i gained from guides and how much i missed guides. it was a good sharing session.

went to sleep soon after as our attempts to discuss the item failed miserably. gerard slept outside the tent...

second day started off drearily. trudged back to campsite. this was the day that it rained like crap and we had to terminate our team building activities. instead we built this straw tower thing and it showed how b4 was so good at smoking. it rained and rained and rained.

our tents collected water and our stuff were a little wet. we desperately tried to soak up the excess water in the tent. luckily they dried by night. i couldnt wait for the day to be over.

rafting. b4 was damn pro. haha. we completed the raft in record time and were the first group to set sail on the first try. BUT, we took a damn long time getting to the green buoy. it really looked like we would never reach it. but we did. the raft disintegrated into 4 parts when we reached shore, but hey, it was damn good while it lasted (:

amazing race: the guys were damn full of shit! lolx. gerard was leading in front and the rest of the guys were talking crap behind. but they were really entertaining and it made the long ardous night walks more bearable (: i guess i could say that the group dynamics improved after this 'race'.

third day: wakatobi trail was fun! aik was our instructor. we dint get lost at all and were the first group to be back. i guess we did well as a group, but what aik said really struck me. he said that one problem he noticed about our group was that the girl guy divide was quite obvious... and he said that this camp is not only for you to learn abt leadership and stuff, its also for u to make friends, widen your social circle and learn how to interact with people.

maybe its my imagination but after that, we were much much better. (:

high ropes. challenge pole again. DAMMIT! I want to grab that thing! haha. but i dint.. sadly. oh wells. there will always be another time. we also did the log and omg i think i totally malued myself there.

i just hate logs! i mean, how the hell do u balance on something that is round! hmpf. so i was talking alot of crap up there to make myself not so scared. thx jonathan for 'forcing' me to walk there and back... for challenging me and in a way having faith in me that i could do it. (:

went back to the camp able and prepared for the grand campfire. it was abit to grand and we couldnt sit comfortably around it. so all of us resorted to hiding in the trees. and throughout this day, b4 really got much closer and even tho at the later part of the campfire we were scattered, but at least we stayed quite happily together at the start (:

bravo's performance was far from bravo. but we had fun i guess (:

at the closing part, when we all stood around the campfire, i was suddenly struck by how small we all are actually. each of us individual here were mere part of an entire bigger picture that is known as the rafflesian spirit, the rafflesian tradition and the legacy of being a rafflesian. yes, we were here to challenge the process but we are also here as part of the legacy.

as life continues, as each year passes with each year, the helm will be passed on to proud rafflesians. it filled me with awe.. to be part of something to solemn, so grand.

wanted to stay awake to talk crap till lights out but was so beat i just dozed off.

day three: was amused by the previous night's escapade at the boy's tents. the four other guys decided to get, literally, 'fresh' with eesin. with darlie (: today's activities were damn slack so most of the time we just sat around talking rubbish.

closing ceremony... prizes and speeches. muddy is best camper of alpha! haha. best group was delta.

lotsa people to thank. realized on hindsight that we dint cheer! ):

i guess the ferry back was the part i kinda 'enjoyed' most... cause almost all of the bravo 4ers sat together and we had such a great time crapping. i mean looking from the start till now, i think we've really come a long way together as a group. and altho we may never have the chance to gather together again, at least we had this memory. this memory on the ferry.

and at least for some short time during the camp, we shared our past experience, we caught a glimpse of the leader in each of us and we sympathized with the difficulties, understood and could relate to the challenges we face and were bound by this fragile thread.

so now im sitting at home, my chem notes are strewn across the table, and yet part of my mind lies at bintam, with the pe teachers, and of course, with the rest of b4... ive suffered from this illness often enough to recognize it as post-camp blues.

the interesting point is that, i never expected to get them from this camp. but here i am experiencing post camp blues...

sad that this camp is so big.. u dont get to know everyone. it be great if u cld know just ur group. and i think we did achieve that. its a leadership camp, yet alot of the leadership learning had to be taken on by the individual. its all in the attitude.

we all know the theory. we all could recite them by heart. we all know what makes a good leader, what leadership styles could do to people, what kinda leadership is effective, good.

BUT

just knowing makes u nothing if you dont apply it. if u could sit behind, with all the knowledge and expertise in your head but not apply it, not share it, not demonstrate it, then u know nothing about leadership.

cause leadership is not a noun. it is a verb. it is the action in itself.

...

and life turns back to canoeing and mugging.

one year and a month more to hold on to our dream. dont ever want the passion to die. dont ever want to stray off the path, dont ever wanna regret. wanna live the goal i told b4 and mr koh of getting everyone in finals, of the gold, of getting everyone to the same level of goodness.

Don't discount yourself, you are better than you think
Work hard, because we all need dreams to make our life worthwhile.

thank u all organizers of ccal camp 06
thank u b4 (:

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joo spoke
@ |5:34 PM|